The Adventures of Alfred and Dr EvilFrench!
by JustDrinkTea
Summary: Poisoned cakes, a super hero, betrayal, and more await our young hero and his brother this playtime. Will Dr. Evil-French triumph? Or will our little hero? And what of Captain Eyebrows? Stay tuned to find out!


Our story begins, and takes place, in a home in England. In the bedroom upstairs a "proper English gentleman," as he calls himself, named Arthur Kirkland sits comfortably in his favorite chair. A cup of tea in his hand, a well worn book on his lap, and the daily newspaper on the table nearby- a normal scene for the Brit.

Downstairs in the kitchen is Arthur's close friend Francis Bonnefoy. Francis is a Frenchman skilled in culinary arts and often visits the home. He hums quietly to himself as he finishes decorating his masterpiece of a cake. His long blond hair is tied back to avoid getting any of the pink frosting in it, and a once white apron protects his clothes.

Playing just a few rooms over are Alfred and Matthew. The two boys, twins, have been perfecting their game for a few good hours now. Alfred, just several minutes older than his brother, leads them through their plan like a well-trained officer. Matthew follows each order and request with a quiet enthusiasm.

Suddenly, Francis bursts through the door with a triumphant smile and a chocolate cake. "Who's ready for a snack?" he says proudly, showing off his creation.

The boys' eyes light up at the sight- Alfred's especially. Matthew raised his hand immediately. "I do, papa!" he says as loudly as his little voice will allow. Francis is not his real father, though the two are probably closer than any father-son duo in all of Europe.

"Wait, Mattie!" Alfred cries dramatically, pushing in front of his brother. "What if it's been poisoned? I'll try it first!"

Francis, quickly realizing it's just another game, cuts a piece and hands it to the small boy on a small plate. Chuckling as he watches Alfred carefully take a bite and chew- his face contorted in thought.

Alfred swallows and stood silent for a moment. Then, he hands the plate back to the Frenchman politely, much to the man's confusion, takes a step back, and promptly falls over with a fake cry. "Whhhhhy?" he yells, grabbing at the air. "I'm going to diiiie!"

Playing along, Francis laughed evilly. "Ohonhon~! Finally, the world shall be rid of you and your heroic deeds!"

"Nooo...!" Alfred gave a few coughs for good measure before allowing his hand to fall to the ground, his eyes closed and tongue sticking out.

Francis set down the cake and turned to Matthew, reaching for him. "Now you're next, mon petite-"

"What on earth are you doing?" Arthur said, suddenly standing in the doorway. "I heard some noise, and I... Alfred. Why are you on the floor?"

Alfred sat up and put a small finger to his lips. "Shhh! I'm dead!" And then he proceeded to return to his former position.

"And you're dead because...?"

"I was poisoned! By the Dr. Evil-French!"

Arthur looked questioningly at his friend who looked from Alfred to Matthew, then back to Arthur and shrugged.

"Mattie!" Alfred whispered loud enough for all in the room to hear. "Now!"

Matthew blinks in confusion for a moment before he suddenly remembers what it is he's supposed to do. "Oh, r-right!" He lightly stomped on Francis' foot and made his escape over to his brother. He turned back to face the blond man. "You... you... Alfred what was the word again?"

"Fiend!" Alfred hissed.

"Oh yeah. You fiend! How could you?" he yells. Of course, even when he yelled he wasn't very loud.

Francis flips his hair with an evil smile. "Petite Matthieu... it was quite simple. He was in my way of world domination!"

Alfred not-so-subtly poked is brother. "Psst. Remember Captain Eyebrows."

"Oh!" Matthew turns his attention to Arthur, much to the Frenchman's dismay. "Captain Eyebrows! Revive Alfred with your magic!"

Arthur, who had been quite content simply watching the display, sputters. "Who're you calling Captain Eyebrows?"

Francis sighed. "Just go along with it, mon cher..."

"Okay, okay..." Arthur walks over to Alfred and kneels next to the boy. "What do I do?"

"You have to revive him with your magic!"

"Yes, I believe we've covered that Matthew."

"All you have to do is say 'abra cadabra'! And then Alfred can defeat Dr. Evil-French!"

Arthur groans. Really. Who came up with the absurd nicknames? "Okay..." he says quietly. "Uh... abra cadabra?"

Alfred laughed and jumped up quickly onto his feet and laughed. "Thanks Captain Eyebrows! Now the hero can save the day for everyone! Me, Mattie, and Captain Eyebrows!"

"Alfred stop calling me that!"

Francis puts an arm around Arthur's shoulders, pulling him close. "I hate to break it to you, petit hero, but Captain Eyebrows was really working with me all along!"

Alfred gapes in shock at the two men. Obviously he hadn't seen this outcome of his game. "But Captain!"

Finally, Arthur started getting involved in the game. "That's right! I was really against you all along, Alfred!"

"And we hate to break it to you," Francis piped in, "but it's nap time!"

"How did you know that was my weakness?"

Francis, before anyone had a chance to react, scoops up Matthew in his arms and Arthur follows in suite by picking up the kicking and protesting Alfred. By the time the two adults reach the children's room, Matthew is fast asleep in the Frenchman's arms, and Alfred is nodding off. The two boys are tucked into the large bed their share- Matthew is too afraid to sleep by himself- and both Arthur and Francis receive a hug from the half-asleep Alfred.

"I'll get you after my nap, Dr. Evil-French..." he said quietly.

Francis smiled sweetly. "Ah, but I will not be here, mon petit hero. I have important buisness to attend to at the resturant."

"Poisoning more innocent people no doubt..!"

The Frenchman gave a laugh and kissed the boy on the forehead. "Perhaps~"

"Tell Mattieu I will be back tomorrow."

"Okay..." he responds quietly, his eyes closing.

"Come on, now Francis," Arthur says, motioning his friend toward the door. "Let them sleep."

A nightlight is turned on and the two men leave, closing the door behind them as quietly as they possibly can.

And so ends another adventure.

**Omi-chan-Neko: Hey! So, I know it's not an update of The Many Faces of Arthur Kirkland, but it's something, right? Hey, I finally got out of my writer's slump and I was bored in my government class. So this is what I came up with~ I hope you enjoyed it! (Ps. France. You got your chibi America hug. Rejoice now.)**

R.E.V.I.E.W. The button is right there. PRESS IT~ :D


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